More hating.

I had a conversation with a For 1 or For 0 fan a while back about how much the comics in our local newspaper, The Gazette, suck. She made me realize that I've been too soft on other crappy comics, focusing my hatred on Blondie and Garfield.

Well, Steph, thanks for giving me more suggestions of crappy comics to hack. This week, I'ma lay some good old-fashioned hate on Hi and Lois. Their authors/cartoonists/creators should all be rounded up and run over by the ass-ugly Honda Element. Yes, they deserve such a humilating and torturous death. If you disagree, I suggest you try getting run over by the ass-ugly Honda Element.



I ran short ideas and decided to take a look at some oldschool For Better of For Worse strips, hoping that I'd find some good material to hack. Well, I did.


Translation Guide:

1. "Here I am with this great b****! She has no idea..."
2. "..that I is gonna rape her! Heh heh heh, what a perfect evening."
3. (car horn) "GET THE F*** AWAY FROM HER, MOFO!"
4. "Oh s***! My Parole Officer!"

Now, onto this week's Flashback section.

B3cky 607 PWNED, Week II:

Translation Guide:

1. "Piss off, April!" "Oh my God, I gotta go badly!"
2. "Am I still hot?" "(laughter"
3. "Jeff used me, April. He said he sucked so I gave him Counter-Strike tips and now he can beat me!"
4. "Maybe you gave him too much."

Translation Guide:

1. "How did Jeff pwn me at CS? Laming camper!"
2. "How's he so good with the Sniper Rifle? Why can't I do that?! (angry)" "BECKY!"
3. "WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU DOING? You want to be dumb forever?!" "Sorry..."
4. "(sad) ...must pwn Jeff one day..."

Translation Guide:

1. "...and I forgot the formula to find the area of a dodecahedron, oh my God..." "It's OK."
2. "Everyone had bad days." "It's not a bad day, it was a lucky shot!"
3. "...a guy who said he sucks at CS pws me like trash, my clan is separating..." "For real?" "Yes."
4. "And, it's all my fault." (Background: 'I'm gonna pwn you, n00b!' 'Heh heh heh!')

Translation Guide:

1. "Becky, it's not your fault if your clan is separating." "Yes it is." (BG: 'Yo dude!')
2. "They were watching and saw Jeff pwn my ass big time on the weekend. He won and took over the clan." (BG: 'I downloaded Half-Life 2, oh my God, oh my God!')
3. "Maybe it's just as well. We've been fighting for a long, long time." "I still don't see how any of this could be your fault!" (BG: 'H-L2 is better than Halo 2!' 'H-L2 isn't better than Halo 2!')
4. "I only got into the clan because I said I suck less then you." "What the f***?"

1. "Are you up for a practice tonight? We've got the LAN set up at my place." "I guess I could practice."
2. "One good thing about CS is, it takes your mind off everything else. You get lost in the action. You become part of it."
3. "No matter how down you are, a First-Person Shooter lifts you up!" "Know what's weird?"
4. "I want to shoot Jeff for real, that son of a b****!" "Yeah."
5. "I guess revenge is like hunting but, for a person!" "More gibs, too."

Translation Guide:

1. "Can I sit with you on the bus?" "No problem."
2. "Sorry about this morning. I was so totally b**** to you." "Meh. S*** happens."
3. "Um... do you still like me?" "I gotta like you, Becky! You're a good fragger, you're outrageous on a keyboard an' mouse. Intense."
4. "A fragger is majorly intense." "Is that a nice way of saying I aim like a n00b sometimes?"
5. "You are a good friend, but tonight, I'ma pwn you." "Not at Unreal Tournament 2004, so bring it!"

Ya gotta love happy endings.
That same week, I also posted a special strip to celebrate the release of Star Wars Episode III, even though it sucked like a blonde schoolgirl:

Episode III Special">
Translation Guide:

1. "What was that?" "An alarm clock, n00b!"
2. "It's midnight, so today is May 19th." "So what? I want to sleep! (angry)"
3. "STAR WARS EPISODE III!!"
4. "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! (overjoyed) W00T, EPISODE 3!!"
5. "OH MY GOD, SHUT THE F*** UP, MOTHER F*****!" "Let's go see it!"
6. "The tickets are all sold out, you n00b! (very pissed)"

Well, that was a long post. That's all the 1337ness for this week, gang. Feel free to post a comment by clicking on the link below.